I'll live, I'll become all I need to be.

"After the Calamity, countless souls would have been crying out for the same thing:
Salvation. A hero.
and Hydaelyn, in response to the cries of Her people..."

Crystal's Will ; A Realm Reborn

akhechagan edaldahs - or simply akhe - is a mystery, but a welcome one to those who call thanalan home. arriving in ul'dah in 1575 with not a single memory of his life before nor a drive for life of his own, he quickly made a name for himself as an usually large help taking on other peoples woes; so helpful in fact that many assumed he'd eventually wind up dead given he rarely ever uttered a 'no' to someone's request. rumors of his strong affinity in magic as well as an uncanny ability to spot bad intentions from a mile away would soon dispel this impression of him, cementing him as a reliable person well able to take care of himself. despite his penchant for helping, he's unnervingly stoic and describes himself as being unable to feel - the only time a hint of emotion shows on him is when he fakes a smile to put others at ease.when not being called upon for task after task, he's most commonly seen in the quicksand documenting the events of his days in his journal as well as drawing anyone who left an impact on him that day; a habit he picked up due to having no memory of his life before and a very selective and finnicky memory now, forgetting most of the details of his days as soon as they pass. curiously, the first time he's able to recall anything of significance without the use of his journal is a year later, after rescuing a lalafell by the name of lilira and meeting a white-haired hyur along the way - who he vaguely recognizes as a frequent around ul'dah's quicksand and thaumaturge guild. slaying the voidsent that threatened her allows akhe to meet face to face with the goddess hydaelyn for the first time, and their meeting awakens a very strong drive in him: to eliminate the dark forces at play behind the scenes.this new purpose lads him to taking on larger asks, and it doesn't take long before his actions and recognized by not only the sultana of ul'dah, but by the scions of the seventh dawn, of who the white haired stranger akhe keeps running into - thancred - is a part of. upon offer, akhe joins them given that they share a common goal, and both he and **minfilia **immediately recognize their strong mutual connection with hydaelyn, strengthening his choice.

he dispatches the threats in his way with relative ease, though slowly slipping out of the almost unnatural skill and precision that he had before, catching scars here and there from his encounters. he warms up to his new allies over time, learning better how to interact through and with them and begins to feel twinges of genuine emotion alongside them - though this 'easy sailing' doesn't last for long.the imperial attack on the waking sands leaves akhe numbed again, his brain involuntarily focusing more on the mission at hand than his own emotions. bitterly, he helps the ishgardians settle their internal affairs, and once the enterprise is in their grasp, takes garuda down with ease. the arrival of gaius' ultima weapon leaves their victory short lived, but ultimately does naught but push their plan to rescue the scions further ahead. the plan dubbed operation archon goes smoothly as it can, and akhe feels genuine joy to see those he considers his family safe - as well as a horrible, conflicting guilt towards thancred being used as an ascian vessel. the purpose awakened by hydaelyn drives him to get rid of that darkness no matter what, but another, new part of him, wants to see the people he's come to care for safe.the final assault on the empire at hand, akhe charges in of his own will and desire, ripping through garlean forces alongside allies. facing off with and defeating the black wolf gaius and his ultima weapon leaves the final battle to be between him and the ascian behind it all - lahabrea. his hesitance during battle is noted by the man, who taunts him for his failure as hydaelyn's champion, controlled by his fear of hurting the vessel that lahabrea possesses. being so unwilling to cause fatal harm towards the ascian allows him to not only wound akhe severely, but draw close enough to stab him.on the verge of defeat, something else cries out in akhe’s soul and grants him the strength not only to power through his injuries and defeat the ascian, but to free thancred from his possession as well. he makes his escape from the praetorium half on foot when the magitek supporting them breaks down, and escapes the exploding castrum with a tumble - cracking the horn from his forehead but keeping thancred tucked into his arms and safe. unsurprisingly, the event leaves all of them needing time to rest and recover, but afterwards, feeling like he has a clearer mind, akhe is happy to welcome in the seventh astral era and all it's challenges alongside his newfound family.

One without Light ; Seventh Astral Era

after the events of the seventh umbral era, a break is much needed. the magical wounds akhe suffered from lahabrea and the burns from the flames of the praetorium lashing at his back must take their time to heal before he can do anything battle orientated; with much rest, this takes surprisingly shorter than most would assume, but he is still put under careful watch and forced to rest when need be. feeling more awake and like a person than he ever did before, he uses this time to bond with the scions more, starting a friendly rivalry with yda and papalymo, a brotherly role towards alphinaud and minfilia, a deeper friendship with urianger, and a particularly close bond with thancred after the hyur insists on some kind of repayment for the events of the praetorium - which after much pushing, akhe accepts in the form of asking thancred to show him around eorzea proper, now that he feels like he can take in things and experience them better. y’shtola also takes a keen interest in him after the great moogle king is summoned – but why, she will not tell.whereas before akhe felt controlled by the drive to take on other’s tasks, he now feels like he’s able to decline them, but feels intense guilt when he does and will pile tasks on himself if asked to. being that way, he prefers to stay around his scions more than anyone else, being comfortable speaking his mind around them without guilt. around others, he becomes meek and avoidant unless specifically tasked to talk to them as to not get pulled aside and distracted with their woes, though this sometimes ends up happening regardless. one such case is being pulled into the research of the crystal tower, which feels like a blessing in disguise when akhe meats g’raha tia. during their ventures and outside of them, they bond more and become close to the point where akhe thinks him to be as much of family as the scions are, and trusts in the miqo'te to know only things they would know, such as his mounting stresses and pressure of being the very warrior of light. with the support of everyone, the stress eases, but never truly goes away, and soon begins to worsen with a new ascian on their hands, the mystery of the echo, the crystal braves, and lady iceheart.meeting midgardsormr at aymeric’s behest is a major point - when hydaelyn’s blessing is stripped from akhe’s soul, a wall he didn’t know was there is broken along with it and a truth is revealed: the memories of who he was before were sealed away by the goddess in order for him to serve as the warrior of light. he is not simply a person who lost his memory, but someone who had it taken from him to fufill a role. his lack of drive for himself, taking on others tasks, numbed emotion, laser focus on his awakened purpose - all to be a better warrior of light. the removal of his blessing is cemented by the loss of his white eye (aptly named hydaelyn's eye,) - turned magenta with a purple limbal ring like the other. the revelation leaves him overwhelmed, confused, and angry. he does his best not to let his negative emotion show and to keep his head up, but he's noticably less cheerful and playful as well as more closed off even to those he trusted before, preferirng to put on a cheerful act when his stresses grow rather than burden people with his feelings.being the warrior of light was his purpose now, after all. the world needs one, so he can’t be too upset about it. what use is he so caught up in his emotions he can’t help others? the only people he lets in on his true feelings are thancred, who akhe realizes he has romantic feelings for (and luckily, through a mess of a fumbled confession he finds out that they're reciprocated) and g'raha and urainger, who akhe considers his closest friends.each issue he tackles only wears him down more and more after that point - with his blessing gone, the ascian nabriales takes his opportunity to attack. the situation spirals into the loss of moenbryda, which not only drives a wedge between him and urianger, but also begins akhe’s train of thought that the real warrior of light - who he was before having emotions - would have known better what to do. true to midgardsormr's words, these events neither ease up nor become easier to handle; raha's sacrifice in the crystal tower leaves him feeling even more destroyed, and not long after, the events of the bloody banquet - the shock, betrayal, and pain of losing those close to him - prove to be the final nail in the coffin for akhe’s mental state.in coerthas, he meets haurchefant with a smile, and tries his best to ignore the new part of him awoken by misery and full of nothing but rage.

The Wild Rose ; Heavensward [re-writing...]

Entering Ishgard, Akhe puts up a wall of kindness and unrelenting optimism. A promise was made to him that everything would turn out fine, and the only thing keeping him together is forcing himself to believe in it. He shuts down any negative feeling he experiences, and ignores the whispers and touches of the sometimes bloodied and broken Scions that appear in front of him. He does not waver on this outer personality for as long as he can. Neither the harsh conditions of Coerthas that threaten to render him unconscious nor the harsh citizens of Ishgard themselves (who do not take kindly to outsiders, especially Au Ra) demoralize him. In an attempt establish himself as an ally among the people, he, alongside helping out the Fortemps siblings as repayment for shelter, takes on whatever task is requested to him by the city's citizens, finding them slowly, but surely, warming up to him.Returning from a task of Artoirel’s to find Alphinaud and Tataru arrested and accused of being heretics is where his mask shatters, though only momentarily. The rage he’s tried so hard to ignore bubbles up and boils over, and he's noted to have fought like a man possessed securing the freedom of his friends. He’s quickly able to calm himself down, but not before his outburst manifests as a wave across Ishgard. It’s seemingly harmless, and in the midst of battle, regarded as nothing but an exemplary use of magics.And from this, distantly, a corpse rises in response.Nonetheless, rumors of the way he fought spread fast across Ishgard and dampen the progress Akhe had made with it’s citizens. They regard him with even worse fear and coldness than they did when he first arrived, though Akhe still makes attempt to help when he can. It’s not until the rescue of Raubahn - wherein Ilberd speaks of how Akhe is being used as a weapon - does his resolve and facade of positivity finally break, appearing more openly melancholic but putting more focus into being what he’s good for: the Warrior of Light. He’s more formal and cordial at this point, not even letting the happiness of seeing Urianger again show. To further accomplish his goal of becoming the perfect warrior, he takes a deal from a stranger named Fray, who not only offers a stronger way to protect others, but recognizes his underlying berserk state and offers a way to control it and use it to his advantage as well. With a new soulcrystal, Akhe switches to wielding heavy swords over his rapier, but vows not to tap into his dark side and refutes the title of being a Dark Knight.A short lived refute. Spending more time with Fray quickly sees him adapting dark arts and becoming far more outwardly cynical, as well as outwardly berserk, despite his attempts to control it. The only benefit coming from the bloodthirsty, reckless state being how effective it is against Ishgard’s enemies - still, even the knights who don’t take issue with him (which are a very small few) avoid him on the battlefield. His preferred company within the citystate does nothing to better his reputation amongst its citizens either (though he’s since given up on trying to improve it), most commonly seen with the barfolk of The Forgotten Knight and around the Brume. By the time he’s travelling with Ysayle and Estinien, it’s Ishgard’s open secret that their Warrior of Light is linked with the forbidden - but convenient enough to keep, given he is fully obedient to the tasks given him despite his attitude. Even with his coldness, he isn’t all gone, as there are still few that see small bits of softness from him; He is quiet but never rude to Alphinaud, whomst he still considers like a younger brother to him, and Ysayle is someone bonds with over his travels and greatly respects. He’s closest to and most open with Haurchefant out of everyone, and often found comfort in him as a close friend when his instabilities became too much to handle alone.Though the attempt to communicate with Hraesvelgr and end the Dragonsong War peacefully alongside Estinien, Alphinaud and Ysayle ultimately ends up being an extremely frustrating failure, tossed between primal-slaying, moogle nonsense, and the annoyance of having to deal with the Azure Dragoon himself (who Akhe finds himself getting into fights with more often than not), the truth of the war - as well as the path they must take now, becomes set and clear, much to Akhe's relief. Much like Estinien, he takes no pride in the great wrym's defeat, referring to it as nothing but a battle of beasts, but comes to respect Estinien a bit more afterwards.After Aymeric is imprisoned within the Vault for taking up the matter of the truth with Archbishop Thordan, Akhe's habit of staying around the Brume comes in handy for the group, as he knows Hilda, the leader of the Revolutionaries, and they share a mutual respect for each other. Using her aid, they're able to make way into the Vault and rescue Aymeric, but not without the cost of Haurchefant's life - something that further cracks Akhe's mental state, as he feels personally responsible for being unable to protect him nor heal his wounds. Filled with a personal unbridled rage at the loss of another person dear to him and followed by a shade of the bloody, fallen knight, he's more than sufficiently motivated to find a way to Azys La and becomes significantly more reckless on the way. He takes on Bismarck with little preparation or question, and only realizes his error when Thordon snatches the key from under him due to both the regaining of Hydaelyn's blessing and what he feels is him being too motivated and blinded by emotion. Caught between feelings and teetering on the edge of a complete breakdown, the only thing that stabilizes him is Tataru's leads on the missing Scions resulting in the retrieval of Y'shtola, who treats him with a harsh, but necessary kindness, often stopping him from making brash decisions and falling into a fully out of touch state. Though she can not help him fully, and especially not in the situation they’re in, she keeps him pushing on; A reminder that’s especially useful when Ysayle sacrifices herself to get everyone into Azys La, seeing Akhe lose both of the closest bonds he made while in Coerthas.With no choice but to push forward and knowing his emotions would make him far too reckless, he swallows them down and explores the floating city Ysayle died for them to access. Finding Tiamat and hearing her truth regarding the Allagans, Ascians, and primals ignites the final Crystal of Light and restores Hydaelyn's blessing in Akhe alongside his white eye to prove it. He - somewhat begrudgingly - accepts that he must use his gift and his status as the Warrior of Light to end this, allowing himself to revert into a heroic-shutdown state characterized by two of Hydaelyn’s eyes. The fight against the Ascians in the Research Facility is nearly nothing to him in this state, taking them down with the same ease he handled Ascians with during the Seventh Umbral Era, keeping up this strength even against their fused form. He shows an unnerving lack of emotion against the primal Archbishop as well, up until the final blow - standing above the defeated Archbishop with his restored eye and allowing his darkness to overcome not only himself but Thordan as well, showing him visions of all that have been lost and sharing the feeling of true fear with him. Thordon recognizes Akhe as not only something primal, but an amalgamation of other things as well, before succumbing to his wounds. The question of ”What are you?” is not one that even Akhe could answer himself, and lingers with him.Shortly after the small moment of relative peace, Estinien falls to the rage held in Nidhogg's eyes and becomes a new host for the wrym. Knowing the war is far from over, the only moment of reprieve and emotion Akhe allows himself is a visit to Haurchefant's grave. Believing his feelings to be an error of sorts preventing him from being what he should, he does his best to bottle everything after that point, embracing being Ishgard's Warrior of Light - and nothing more.Wipe the slate clean. Forgive and forget! The Warrior of Light! Our Weapon of Light!

of the Wild Roses ; Dragonsong War

tba!

Judge, Jury, and Executioner ; Stormblood

The events of Stormblood are a large blur to Akhe, mostly consisting of nothing but things that must be done because no one else can. Being commanded so exactly makes him blank out, but make no mistake, he is happy to help with the liberation of Doma and Ala Mhigo.When he's not completely zoned out, he has his more optimistic and friendly personality back, his improvement progressing steadily. When he gets to Othard, he is considerably both more excitable and emotional. Meeting, accepting and essentially fusing with the original inhabitant of his body during his Dark Knight adventures allowed him to finally have the chance to unlock the things from 'his' past he could never remember, and he recognizes small things as being connected to that. His family is still a mystery to him, but even still, he fit right in on the Azim Steppe and enjoyed the Nadaam greatly, even being able to keep his berserk state at bay. Freeing Ala Mhigo takes more from him than it did Doma, but keeping himself zoned kept his mood from going sour, with the only downside being inappropriate bluntness at times.It is not until he's met with Zenos does his progress threaten to unravel, the other perfectly egging out the berserk state from him. He manages to keep is under wraps as much as he can until their final battle, wherein even after the end he cannot seem to free himself from it's grip. Conflicted with an overwhelming amount of emotion, Akhe disappears after killing Zenos.

'Baikara,' The Hidden Crystal ; Post-Stormblood

Unstable after the events of Stormblood and afraid of hurting others, Akhe flees to the start of everything: Thanalan. With a hidden talent for glamours, he disguses himself as a hyur by the name of Baikara, and tries to keep himself away from battle - Though, if someone wanted happened to turn up dead, body mangled by black magic... He'd of course have nothing to do with that. He's extremely irritable at this point, much like he was in Heavensward, and only comes into Ul'dah to keep track of news and purchase materials for his potion experiments in an attempt to seal away his darker side. His various attempts finally bear fruit in some form when he creates a batch that seals away his berserk state, though at the cost of also sealing away his personality entirely, essentially putting him on WoL autopilot with barely any will of his own, nor emotions.These results, though imperfect, come at a fortunate time, as only a few days later he would be found by a particular Scion and put back on Warrior of Light duties once again; Though his attitude towards it now holds neither joy nor anger - He resigns himself to the role he was made for despite protests towards that point of view, and uses his potions to keep himself 'stable.' Only when they wear off can Akhe be actually talked to, and after some back and forth he somewhat reluctantly agrees to go without them - or at least not that specific variant of them, instead using another developed with the help of his friends, a variant that actually keeps his berserk form down without keeping him down, at the very slight cost of some of his strength. Feeling more in control of himself and more supported than ever, his bonds with Urianger growing to the level he has with Thancred, he begins to regain the positive and friendly personality he had far back in A Realm Reborn. Even when his closest companions fall to an unknown slumber, he continues to keep his head held high, ready to tackle whatever the world throws at him.Whichever world it is.[ Your journal entry seems to end here... ]

"Used those cries for a summoning. And created me."